If I were like you I would keep all this inside and not tell you about my life.

I’ve wandered through this life without a point, mostly anticipating a day at some point in the future, where things would become better. But, better is a difficult thing to define, at least when what one compares it to — namely the present — is constantly changing. If I were like you, I’d bottle it up, but, I get mad at the world, and all the people in it.

I think sometimes it has to do with how much pressure I put on myself and how my observations of others would have me believe I’m the only one doing this — that I’m alone. In fact, I am alone, but only because this sort of view of the world allows for the creation of a gap of injustice between me and anyone else.

If I were like you, I might not notice it. But, when I’m not under the gun of some project with a complex implementation, one that keeps my mind a spin, I’m constantly disturbed with the nonsensical world that surrounds us. That too is not like you at all. But, if I were like you, it would be easier to explain, because I wouldn’t pressure myself into having to explain.

For instance, I, hate that people are so inclined to consume, transact, and seek excess. Stop it. No one cares about your ability to climb to a higher rung on a ladder that you, yourself, invented. You never consider those things in such general terms either. You, my friend, tend to specify. Thats why you invented and subscribe to a policy of life which is rooted in money. Because you my friend, have preferences.

Also, and somewhat to the contrary, I’m equally upset with people so inclined as to conform or seek sociality. Not because those things are inherently bad, but because I hate that most people do those things because they feel it offers them a better potential position in some non-existent social network. The fact is, this is not true. You, as I, are alone. And it is this misconception brought on by the fact that people rarely take time to wonder what life would be like, if they were like you.

All the truth man will ever know comes from the place by which he or she distinguishes self…. and other. The sooner man learns this, the better his existence will be.

If I were like you though, and I can tell just by looking out my window, none of that would matter. Instead, I’d sit quite ignorantly in my living room or bedroom, so despondent that I fear any one knocking at my door or calling my phone. The same way that you sit in that idle state of watching all the people you pretend to connect with, coalesce into the nothingness to which you have all subscribed. While at the same time you wait for a check from social services to which you expend no understanding nor true means of sociality or compassion. No, you seek only a reminder of your presence.

And yes, if I were like you, I’d do all this to a soundtrack; whilest I listened to digital music I didn’t pay for, stored in file format I didn’t understand, on a file system I had no awareness of, coming through and out of a device I could barely operate. All because if I were like you, I would never take any time to see beauty (even in nature’s cruel violence).

Nope, I would only dream as you do about a job performing for people who are equally despondent and apathetic. If I were you, I would dream to be the poster-child of the celebrity of nothing. I’m certain of it. If I were like you… I’d change.